Apocalyptic Rhymes

Note: This first appeared on the now-defunct comedy website, Nearly Robots in 2012. In his 17th century poem “To His Coy Mistress,” Metaphysical Poet, Andrew Marvell wrote a beautiful passage about seizing the moment with a lover: “The grave’s a fine and private place, But none, I think, do there embrace. Now therefore, while the […]

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Same Damn Time

Note: This first appeared on the now-defunct comedy website, Nearly Robots in 2013. Nayvadius Wilburn Cash, better know by his stage name, Future, was signed to Epic Records in September 2011 and has made huge waves in the rap scene ever since. Many have heard Future’s 2012 hit “Same Damn Time,” however few know the […]

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Google Search Poetry

Note: This first appeared on the now-defunct comedy website, Nearly Robots in 2011. Google Search Poetry By: Emma Overton Writer’s Note: This poem was composed with my blood, sweat, tears, and by typing in the letter “I” into my google search field and copying down what came up. i am in mourning i am only […]

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Bucket List

Note: This first appeared on the now-defunct comedy website, Nearly Robots in 2012. When my editor asked me to come up with a personal Bucket List for 2013, I have to admit; I didn’t think I was up to the challenge. It was a topic on which I had minimal pre-existing knowledge. However, thanks to […]

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Why Nice Girls Love Dirty Hip Hop

Note: This first appeared on the now-defunct comedy website, Nearly Robots in 2012. It is no secret that many conservatively raised, suburban, white girls love them some dirty, nasty, hip hop; the type that would make ODB cringe. The weird part is, a lot of the music involves some pretty degrading lyrics regarding women. So […]

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5 Hipster Boy Fashions

Note: This first appeared on the now-defunct comedy website, Nearly Robots in 2012. “The Little Rascal”: The Little Rascal is one of the most confusing hipster boy fashions of the moment. It’s the easiest of the styles to spot because it is a grown man who is dressed like a seven year-old. His attire is […]

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10 Cosmo Relationship Tips

Note: This first appeared on the now-defunct comedy website, Nearly Robots in 2012. How to keep things fiery in a chilled-out long-term relationship!   Writer’s Note: A few of these relationship tips were taken verbatim from a real Cosmopolitan magazine. Guess which ones! Answers at the bottom of the page.   Compromise on TV shows. […]

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